So that's why...

... I took this job. Yes, so I can come home for lunch and blog. Hee, hee. This is the first day I've tested to see if I can actually walk home, enjoy my lunch and maybe even be productive while I'm here. So far, I've done the dishes and started a load of laundry. Sweet.

I have to leave my cats this weekend for a whole 60-some odd hours. This will be torture for me (I couldn't find a cat sitter). But I'm learning to LET GO and praying I don't come back to an apartment destroyed. Besides, I have to prepare myself... if I happen to get a Fulbright, I'll have to leave them for a whole 9 months.

I am very, very excited about NYC. I've never been. I don't know how much of the city I'll get to see. For the most part, I'll just be helping my roommate with her wedding stuff. But I did beg her to take me to MOMA if we have time.

I have no other intelligent thoughts for the day...

The Community of the Church

I've been thinking about this idea a lot lately, but haven't had time to really delve into it and do the research I'd like. That said, I don't know if this post will do the topic justice, for this will really just be a rambling of my thoughts.

I truly believe that Individualism as a construct is silently destroying the American Church. (and perhaps the Western Church altogether, but I cannot speak to what I do not know.) The reason I say individualism as a construct and not as an ideology is simple: applied as an ideology it takes place in the realm of the public sphere (business, politics, etc). This is important for human rights and political freedoms. However, when individualism invades the private sphere (and I am including the Church here, which I recognize is debatable), it systematically prioritizes the self over the community, fostering self-help, self-entitlement, and an overabundance of self-importance.

I find the doctrine of Irresistible Grace in extreme conflict with Individualism, and personally find it places more emphasis on the Church as the Body of Christ than on individual salvation. Let me explain. While the work of Grace takes place on an individual level, it's my understanding that Calvinism as a whole views redemption and salvation as entirely driven by G-d's Will and Design. That is to say, He calls us to Himself to fulfill His purposes.

I struggled with Irresistible Grace because it inevitably raises the question (as it should) Why Me? But, when you consider that G-d calls individuals to collectively pursue His Glory, as part of the Church, it takes the emphasis off of yours-and-my salvation, and places it on the corporate salvation and redemption of the Church as a living Body, fulfilling His Will on Earth.

The Church, for us today, is one of the few places we experience the fullness of G-d's work in us. We struggle to live and love as a community -- not bound by any earthly affiliations, but welded by the Holy Spirit. In this, we learn love, forgiveness, patience, humbleness, etc. We bring our sins to light that they may chain us no more. We laugh and grieve, and carry each other through all of life's ups and downs. Or so we should. Because it is in this broken vessel, the Church, that G-d displays the love for His Bride to the world. This is His Glory and His purpose.

I do not particularly like paraphrasing Scripture, but think about the Great Commission in this light. Instead of 'Therefore go and make disciples of all nations...' which seems unattainable and better left to missionaries, what if we saw it more like this: 'Go, and find your brothers and sisters, and bring them home.'

As I said above, I did not have much time to research this diligently. There's still a few books/articles I'd like to read on the topic, and I may have to visit it again later.

Huh?

Things that are puzzling me this week:

1. Why does the picture in my profile not show up on my blog?

2. About 3 weeks ago, my TV decided I did not need sound for channels 7 (ABC), 9 (CBS) and 13 (USA). I now have 7 and 9 back, but 7 is in Spanish. No comprende!

3. Why does my cat sleep in the bathroom sink?

No of these are really that disturbing, and for the most part they just make me laugh.

The Process of Prayer

Words without thoughts never to heaven go...

Our act, when we pray, must not, any more than all our other acts, be
separated from the continuous act of God Himself, in which alone all finite causes operate.

I've noticed recently that my greatest times of joy in prayer have come in times of submission. In his essay "The Efficacy of Prayer," Lewis writes that "prayer is request," in the same sense that we ask favor just as we would with others. Does it follow that G-d will fulfill our request? No, of course not. For one, His mind is not the type to be 'made-up' like that. This is not to say that He follows wherever the day might lead and makes His decisions as He goes. Quite the opposite. His Will was determined before the dawn of time. His decisions, therefore, flow from the purposes of His Will.

Some may suggest that His Final Plan is in mind, but the path has yet unfolded (thus allowing room for alterations). Others believe the Plan is set, unalterable (for G-d is unchanging). I am of the persuasion that both are simultaneously true. As Lewis suggests, we have no idea if our prayers determined an outcome, because our prayers may very well have been part of that process. Much like salvation, the causal relationships between time, our actions, faith and the acts of the Holy Spirit will always contain mysteries. As my pastor said this week, "The closer you get to a spiritual paradox, the closer you are to G-d's Truth." For how can an infinite, timeless and perfect Being interact with finite, time-bound, imperfect creatures without paradox?

And, as the process of prayer unfolds in my life, I am learning that as much as I know G-d can do whatever He wants (meaning He has the power to), I do not pray thinking He will. I pray knowing I will be brought close to understanding Him and His purposes. 'For even in the very heart of the story we meet a glaring instance to the contrary. In Gethsemane the holiest of all petitioners prayed three times that a certain cup might pass from Him. It did not.'

Is it not for our benefit that Christ uttered this prayer? Does it not show by his example that even Christ had to submit his plans to the Father's Will? And does that not bring you Hope? A gracious Hope, for certain. For when we come to Him and rest completely in His will, 'His love is ever as strong, in both sorrow and celebration.'

Many point to Christ's cry on the cross of utter despair to show that even he felt abandoned by G-d. However, in Hebrew culture, expressing the first line of a Pslam brought the whole passage to mind. So, even in Christ's darkest hour on earth, when he cried, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" he rested - in his sorrow - in the Father's Will, knowing that the rest of the Pslam speaks of Hope. For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help. (Pslam 22)

So the process of prayer is submission to His will, rest in His hope, and the peace and joy that comes from knowing Him more fully.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. -Isaiah 26:3

Pictures

These are from all over: Colorado, Lake Tahoe, Monticello, and the Eastern Shore. Dad took the good ones, I took the bad ones.

As the solar system collapses...

My good friend Jill informed me today that our beloved planet Pluto was downgraded to a 'dwarf planet' by the International Astronomical Union. It is the end of an era. An era without a definition of 'planet.' Yes, that's right, your grade school textbooks lied. I know you thought you knew what a planet was. I mean, there had to be a definition somewhere in that book. This was after all, science class. But no matter what your book said, the powers that be (like the IAU) never actually defined a planet until Thursday. And even then, they had to create a subcategory for poor Pluto.

And the sad part about this whole story is not really about Pluto at all. It's about that fact that both Jill and I (and Jill is one of those fabulously brilliant minds who will be running the free world someday) could not remember the order of the rest of the planets. I mean, who really knows that mess past Mars -- except that it ends with PLUTO?? For a brief moment, I was delighted to think that the solar system would now end in Uranus, because yes, I am that immature. (It's actually Neptune, the Forgotten Planet.)

And now the solar system as I believed it to be no longer exists. :(

Gainful Employment

Sweet. I am officially employed. I have a building pass, an access card, and a desk. Tomorrow I will have computer access, voicemail and email. I'm a Big Girl now. Wait, why is this a good thing again? Someone please remind me...

Oh, yes, to pay for my education. Riiiight. Too bad I'd rather be studying! Agggh. I am not made for real life! This is why people like me become academics. I want to have intellectually stimulating conversations about twice a day and then I want you to leave me to my rambling thoughts, NPR and classical music. I want students to knock on my office door, not superiors. And, I want to be able to check my email every 5 seconds. (That was the most disappointing part of the day... no personal email! At all! When do they think I'm going to blog?? ;)

I did managed to convince my boss that taking an hour in the middle of the day to go swim laps will make me a more productive employee. And, I made friends with G, who is probably the sweetest little old man I've ever met. (He's not really that old, but still, think Grandpa.) He made sure I knew where the emergency exits are located. ('Just in case. Nobody else pays attention to these things, but you never know.') And, he showed me the Chapel (which is actually really nice). ('For, you know, those days when you just need to take a break.') Awe.

So, I guess it will not be that bad. I keep reminding myself that my commitment is only a year. And, this job was certainly an answer to (many) prayers. I am grateful that He has put me here for a season, and I'm even more grateful that it is just that: for a season. Hopefully, by this time next year, I'll be headed off to some unknown location for postgraduate work. (I've narrowed down my top 4 schools, but I'm really hoping for a Fulbright.)

Question(s) of the Week

A conversation with a good friend from grad school, and a viewing of Hotel Rwanda, has prompted the following two questions for this week.

1. Why do we (Americans, Westerners in general), still think that the UN is an effective governing body, capable of enforcing peace treaties between state actors and non-state actors alike?

2. Why does the Left (of which I claim to lean towards) think that pulling our troops out of Iraq is a viable long-term solution?

It pains me to think that a "pull-out platform" will guide the upcoming congressional elections.

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Christ and His Bride

I love it when things just come together, like G-d is sharing His puzzle-pieces with you. I'm doing a word-study of grace. (130 times! Sweet!) I'll try to share my thoughts* as often as possible, but the new job does start tomorrow...

The first appearance of grace in the Hebrew Bible is in Psalm 45, a Messianic Psalm:

"You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since G-d has blessed you forever." (vs. 2)

The psalm is a wedding psalm, about the King and his Bride (Christ and His Church). In it, the King has been anointed with the oil of joy, a righteous ruler, whose kingdom is marked by justice. It's a beautiful depiction of Christ's love for the Church, and it's made me think about what I can do, as a member of Christ's body, in the community of fellow believers, to live a life worthy of His holy kingdom.

I have to admit that I get frustrated with my church and with the Church at times, but that it is in this working-out, this struggling to be a community (and not just a group of individuals), that Christ is glorified. His Grace is not just for you and me, but for US. Think about it: if we truly lived in fellowship-community - sharing the ups and downs of everyday life, we'd kill each other. We would. We would drive each other crazy. But for the Grace of G-d. His Grace compels us to love one another, just as Christ loved the Church. This love, rooted in Grace, tells me that you are my brother, and you are my sister, and we are all broken and need Him to walk with us daily.

Psalm 45 is fulfilled in Luke, chapter 4. At the synagogue in Nazareth, Jesus stands and reads from Isaiah, and then proclaims 'Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.'

"All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips."

(Luke 4:22)

I find the emphasis (by the Western Church) on individualism to be somewhat artificial. He came to claim His Whole Church (both made whole by Him, and in whole for Him). It is this covenant of Grace, the marriage of the King and His Bride, that binds us together.

"All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away." (Jn. 6:37)

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*Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts. I am in no position, and have no authority to teach (or preach, for that matter); I just like to provide the context of the passages I'm sharing.

Abiding in Him Alone

To depend upon His strength must become my greatest rest. To live in the love of God - even at the cost of great sacrifice - must become my highest aim. My crown.

- Julian of Norwich

Having the whole week off, I've spent some time contemplating my 'life goals'...where I am on the journey, what my next steps should be, what should be my priorities as I figure this all out, and just that whole 'general sense of direction' thing that I've come to pray from time to time. These are my four main goals:

• To teach (at the collegiate level)
• To publish
• To take part in missions
• To be a wife and mother

As I prayed about these goals, and what it means for His love to be my crown, even at the cost of great sacrifice, my reflections were as such:

I see publishing as the vainest of my goals, and the lowest on my list. If my subject is not Christ, than I am only seeking self-glory: to see my name printed on the spine of a book. But then NOT using the intellectual resources He's given me is also not glorifying Him. For who am I but that He has given me? In any case, while it (at times) seems the most reachable goal, it remains at the bottom of my list.

Teaching is also a selfish pursuit, but one which coincides with the other three goals, therefore I justify it as being 'ok.' I want to teach because a) I want to be involved with students, b) it would allow me the intellectual atmosphere in which to publish, c) summers off = mission opportunities (as well as 'sabbaticals' doing 'research' in other countries), and d) teaching is one of those rare professions that provides flexibility in raising a family.

On missions....

Ten years ago, I would've said that at 28, you could find me living in a remote African village with 6 kids (not all of them mine) hanging from my limbs, while my husband shared crop-growing techniques with the tribal elders and the women taught me how to basket-weave. (All while teaching them about Jesus, of course.)

Yea... my, how plans change. I'd still like to be involved in missions someday. But no small villages, please. I am a city girl. Give me a booming metropolis -- Africa, Southeast Asia, the FSU, etc. And not quite so many children. And better micro-finance projects.

Even at the cost of great sacrifice...

Can I give up my dreams? Wife, mother, professor, author? It doesn't look the same for everyone. What does it look like for me? What does it look like when I have so little control over my highest priority on the list, and feel inadequately prepared to pursue the rest?

When Christ calls a man, he bids him 'Come and die.'

Surely this does not mean I give up my dreams, with no direction or plans for an alternative. Am I really to sit in a basement office for the next five years, with no clue as to what to do next? That would, truthfully, be a slow and painful death for me. But certainly not one pursued for His glory.

At times, He does call us to surrender our dreams and desires to Him. However, I think more often, it is our plans for those desires that must be let go, be sacrificed. It is the selfless abandonment of my plans, my timeline, my choice schools, my hope for a Fulbright, and even my frustrations with goals not happening on my timeline.

It is the reckless pursuit of Him and Him alone. For only in Him do I find my purpose, my happiness, my self. My Crown. And is this not Grace? To know and be fully known... what desire is greater than this?

How little understood how great His need, but also how perfect His
claim to my emptiness! Let me listen and believe, until my whole being cries out, "Jesus is indeed to me the True Vine, bearing me, nourishing me, supplying me, using me, and filling me to the full to make me bring forth fruit abundantly." Then shall I not fear to say, "I am indeed a branch to Jesus, the True Vine, abiding in Him, resting on Him, waiting for Him, serving Him, and living only that through me, too, He may show forth the riches of His grace, and give His fruit to a perishing world.

- Andrew Murray

Bookworm

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

I ended up with:

"Another view has, of course, been sometimes held by Christians. According to it the descent of God into Nature was not in itself occasioned by sin. It would have occurred for Glorification and Perfection even if it had not been required for Redemption."

Bribery

Every Wednesday night, I bribe people to attend small group. This is partly because baking/cooking is my love language, and partly because I think the sharing of food/breaking of bread is extremely important for fellowship. Historically, one would only share a meal with close friends, never with enemies. And this example can be seen in the early church, where they would gather in small house churches and share a meal. Anyway...

Usually, I will make chocolate chip cookies (my favorite), but I ran out of chips, and only had ingredients for sugar cookies. And, since it is no where near Christmas time, I was stuck with some rather odd cookie-cutters. (Butterflies and Cowboys)

On Truth

For as bats' eyes are to daylight so is our intellectual eye to those truths which are, in their own nature, the most obvious of all.

What happens when my truth and your truth are not the same? I am not speaking here of absolute truths, but I am speaking of both non-provable truths (my argument against yours) and of factual truths (and the tendency to see the facts we want to see, i.e., those that support our truth). I actually only find these problematic when you add the element of the Divine. That is to say, when one or both parties claim their non-provable or factual truths to be supported and backed by G-d. (I will leave other faiths out of this. I am primarily addressing this as a Christian issue.)

Both situations present intellectual obstacles. I will take the second situation, for it is the one with which I am most familiar.

The situation is as such: Two parties, both wielding factual evidence on one particular issue, and both sincerely seeking Him and His will, come to opposing conclusions. My objection is not to the use of factual truths, for I accept that as imperfect humans we will indeed see what we want to see. My difficulty here is with the Divine. For, how can two sincere seekers come to two factually opposing conclusions? This either raises concerns about the sincerity of the seekers, or the consistency of the Maker. I am more concerned with the Maker, for I have no business judging another's heart. Although, it is easier to assume that the other is not sincere, and is only hearing what he or she wants to hear.

But can He tell one seeker Conclusion A, and the other Conclusion B? Are they just apparent opposites from our finite perspective? Is there some magnification of His Glory in the confusion between two truths? This is my best guess. That He is glorified through the process of seeking, and perhaps more glorified by the humble confusion and re-seeking of His will.

My example, however, is not nearly as grey and nuanced as real life. Problems arise when the factual truths happen to one party and are observed by the other. Or when one party uses factual evidence and the other simply argues against it, without presenting their own evidence. I will not even bother with non-provable truths, for that is a puzzlement that includes both the nature of revelation and matters of love and romance; all of which I am a failure at understanding and can offer no promising insights.

Hard Places

Forgiveness is so fricking hard. I really think it's the most difficult act of Christian obedience. This will most likely turn into a series of posts, as it is an issue I'm revisiting right now, and although it is painful, I am grateful for the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

This started about three weeks ago, when I realized I had to ask So-and-so to forgive me. How can I ask them to forgive me, when I harbor such unforgiveness in my own heart? And then came the disappointment. Haven't I already dealt with this before? Haven't I already put so much time and effort into working this out, into forgiving this one person? Can't I just be done with this?

And of course, as He often does when we are dealing with a specific issue, it was brought up over and over again during the past few weeks.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6)

This far more demanding than we like to make it. This is not some wishy-washy 'oh, He understands that you're just human and we are imperfect at forgiving.' Nope, it's pretty clear cut here. He demands us to forgive just as He forgave - infinitely and absolutely.

Juliet pointed out that often times, when we feel frustrated because we are revisiting the same issue, it is really a revisiting from a different vantage point. After Sunday's sermon on forgiveness, and talking with Juliet, I've come to understand that this time around, it is my anger caused by my unforgiveness that I am dealing with. And that anger has only hurt me. (I asked Julie if that was selfish and she replied that it is just a rightful understanding of what anger does. Whew. At least I don't have to deal with my selfishness at the same time!)

Anger and unforgiveness keep us from freedom in Christ. Which helps me understand more why I was given this verse almost three years ago:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Gal. 5:1)

So, I am learning to shed the yoke of slavery harnessed by my anger, caused by my unforgiveness.

My anger stems from her lack of unrepentance. (And, without too much detail, her insistence that I am the guilty party, though the guilt was proven independent of me, in a court of law.) How do you let go of anger towards someone who is absolutely unrepentant? Any thoughts?

Further up and further in

Recently saw Lady in the Water, and have since had several discussions about myths, and the role they play in our understanding of the world and the divine.

I won't spoil the movie, other than to say it is worth seeing (despite some poor reviews). It is truly a Bedtime Story, a mythology of the Blue World and its people, the interconnectedness of their world and ours. What I always find fasicnating about myths is how moving they are. It is telling that my favorite Lewis book is not one of his great theological works, or even his fiction, but his reworking of the classical myth of Cupid and Psyche. (Although there is obviously mythology in Narnia and the Space Trilogy.)

Lady in the Water makes profound statements about the nature of myths:

1. Myths are truths, designed to bring humans better understanding of the divine -- an 'awakening' of our sense to the Divine's presence in our lives.

2. Our world and the mythological world are intertwined, inseparable without great harm, arguably similar to Polanyi's disembedding and the subsequent Double Movement.

3. The teller of myths, and therefore truths, is an instrument used by the Divine. This can be seen by the character played by M. Night Shyamalan. Shyamalan originally wrote Lady in the Water as a story for his children. In the movie, he plays a character who's fate is intricately tied to the fulfilling of the myth, to his mortal detriment. Yet, he accepts his fate and tells the truths that need to be told.

What, you may say, does this have to do with Grace? I will connect the dots, with the help of a book borrowed from a friend, J.R.R. Tolkien's Sanctifying Myth, by Bradley J. Birzer. (So far, this is the best book I've read since Polanyi. And I've read Polanyi five times in the last two years. And then defended him for my Oral Comps. If I could find a way to study Polanyi, Lewis and Tolkien for a PhD, I'd do it. Ooo...I just had an idea...)

Like the movie, Tolkien believed myths were truths, our worlds are mingled and his role in writing his 'legendarium' was a recording of revelations about this history of Middle-Earth. The mysteries of Middle-Earth were just as real as the mysteries of our own world, because for Tolkien, Middle-Earth was a mythological reality.

I was struck by how much Tolkien and Shyamalan apparently share in their understanding and belief of myths. I think you have to look at Shyamalan's whole work (which I have not seen all and would love to hear comments from those who have.) But at least there are parallels in Signs and The Sixth Sense. Shyamalan's 'moral of the story' stops with 'we must all learn our role to play in the overlapping of mythological and factual worlds.'

While I think Tolkien would agree, he saw a higher purpose for myths. Myths reveal truths, in preparation for the Great Myth, which reveals Truth. Lewis says (paraphrasing) 'Christianity is a myth which happens to be true as well.' For Tolkien, myths, when sanctified to provide a link to Grace, served as foundational truths on which to build the greater Truth.

I find this absolutely fascinating. I always wondered why I was so drawn to myths, why I understood them and why I felt they 'spoke' to me. I remember very clearly, freshman year of high school, I painted Diana/Artemis in blue and silver, to coincide with an English paper on her, because I could not express her in words alone. (This was not part of our assignment, and my teacher praised me for it, while the class snickered and called me a suck-up.) It is their profound loss that they did not understand the beauty and mystery of myths, just as Shyamalan and Tolkien predicted.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts on myths and the role they play in preparing us for greater revelations on Truth and Grace.

Laundry List

(of books)

Just finished: Emma, Jane Austen
The Life of Pi, Yann Martel

Just started: J.R.R. Tolkien's Sanctifiying Myth, Bradley Birzer
The Essential Rumi, translations by Coleman Barks

In the thick of: C.S. Lewis's Dangerous Idea: In Defense of the Argument from Reason, Victor Reppert
The Gospel of John; Calvin's commentary on John

Favorite book from grad school: The Great Transformation: The Political and Economic Origins of Our Time, Karl Polanyi

Least favorite book from grad school: The World is Flat, Thomas Friedman

Will finish when I have more time: Crime and punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky

More on Prayer

A comment from 'Asking' linked to this post on Elizaphanian. Worth reading.

I always find our human desire for control to be the greatest source of pride/sin. As if we could do anything better. Yet that is how I act everyday. Thinking I know what is best, and living as such. But reverent prayer does indeed break down that thinking. For when we are truly focused on Him, we are aware of our utter dependence on Him, and our own inadequacies in controlling our lives.

You give and take away,
You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say,
Blessed be your Name.

Below

Posted a draft from a few weeks ago below.

Tomorrow is my last day at work. The end of an era has come. I am thrilled to be moving on, excited about my new job and a little nervous, too. Can I really work an 8-5? That is so not me. But if this paves the way to my long-term goals, I'll bite the bullet and work for the man.

Asking

(From notes taken this Sunday)

I am discovering the importance of asking for my needs to be met. Rather than assuming they will be, or that if they aren't, they never would've been.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

After we are directed to pray for heavenly things, we are encouraged to pray for our needs as well. (Always in light of the rest of Matthew 6 -- our needs, not our greeds.) We are not to worry, we are simply to ask. To put our needs at His feet, because He is a G-d of unlimited resources and all that is, is His.

Previously, my subconscious raised two objections to asking for my own personal, physical needs.

1. He knows my needs anyway. Why should I have to ask?

This misses the mark on several levels. Jesus tells us to ask. One, that we may know all provision comes from Him and two (in conjunction), as part of our refinement, supplication should turn our thoughts to heavenly things, placing our treasure and heart on His kingdom and righteousness.

2. G-d doesn't care about those little things. I mean, not for me, really. There is world poverty and a myriad of other things for Him to worry about. Not my job, or my car, or my ____.

Oh foolish pride! Always there, hidden and woven into every rationalizing thought. By placing emphasis on me, it minimizes G-d's power and reach. Here I am claiming that praying about little things is a 'waste of time' because somewhere in my arrogant mind, I can take care of the little things. But, He is Lord of the magnificent and the mundane.

Obviously, we are to be responsible with our time and resources, but it's He who supplies all of our needs.

It's right there: Give us today our daily bread.

(When Christ walked the earth, this was far more literal than we take it today. Then, yesterday's wages bought today's food. Subsistence was a day-to-day need. Most of us don't know what that feels like, but the principle is the same: We are to ask for our needs because it is He who provides all that is necessary.)

Closer than I thought!

You scored as Calvin. You are John Calvin. You have a Nestorian Christology and separate the Divinity and Humanity of Jesus. You believe only those who have faith are united to Christ, who is present spiritually, yet you call this "Real." Calvin 81% Zwingli 63% Catholic 38% Unitarian 25% Luther 6% Eucharistic theology created with QuizFarm.com

Don't know that I agree with a quiz based entirely off of my views on the Sacrament of Communion, but the end result was interesting. Got this from Elizaphanian.

Places and History

Last Tuesday night I was able to have dinner with my best friend from college. Ah, good memories. Memories of His faithfulness and provision and the blessings of friendship. This picture was supposed to capture my love of campus, college life and the history of His work in my life. (It's one of my favorite spots on campus.)
One of the things we talked about was the foundation of our friendship, our shared faith in Christ. This commitment to Christ has held our friendship together, despite some tough times -- and mostly due to my own sinfulness and stupidity. It was during this admittance of my sins, from a period that I can barely call a walk with Christ (more like a forced crawl), that I was able to see I was not frozen by guilt, which is immobilizing and often unhealthy, but that I was actually grieving my sins, and the suffering and pain caused by them.

Here was a liberating thought -- that grieving is a healing process, brought and done by the Holy Spirit. It does not leave you trapped in shame. Instead, it fosters true repentance, placing the emphasis on the work of Grace in my life and not the presence of imperfections and the prideful belief that He cannot use someone as tainted as I. (See 2 Cor 3:6 , 4:7 and 7:10.)

Once again, this brought joy to my heart, and a deeper understanding of His irresistible Grace.

But as always, when we are brought into deeper understanding, we are often prompted to act on that understanding. It is not enough to know, we must become.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Repent, for just as your Father in heaven forgives, so you should forgive as well.

So much easier said than done! It is this history of lessons learned that visiting my old campus brings to mind. That I must daily remember His work in my life, and moved by His Grace, must also daily forgive.