Hard Places

Forgiveness is so fricking hard. I really think it's the most difficult act of Christian obedience. This will most likely turn into a series of posts, as it is an issue I'm revisiting right now, and although it is painful, I am grateful for the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

This started about three weeks ago, when I realized I had to ask So-and-so to forgive me. How can I ask them to forgive me, when I harbor such unforgiveness in my own heart? And then came the disappointment. Haven't I already dealt with this before? Haven't I already put so much time and effort into working this out, into forgiving this one person? Can't I just be done with this?

And of course, as He often does when we are dealing with a specific issue, it was brought up over and over again during the past few weeks.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6)

This far more demanding than we like to make it. This is not some wishy-washy 'oh, He understands that you're just human and we are imperfect at forgiving.' Nope, it's pretty clear cut here. He demands us to forgive just as He forgave - infinitely and absolutely.

Juliet pointed out that often times, when we feel frustrated because we are revisiting the same issue, it is really a revisiting from a different vantage point. After Sunday's sermon on forgiveness, and talking with Juliet, I've come to understand that this time around, it is my anger caused by my unforgiveness that I am dealing with. And that anger has only hurt me. (I asked Julie if that was selfish and she replied that it is just a rightful understanding of what anger does. Whew. At least I don't have to deal with my selfishness at the same time!)

Anger and unforgiveness keep us from freedom in Christ. Which helps me understand more why I was given this verse almost three years ago:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Gal. 5:1)

So, I am learning to shed the yoke of slavery harnessed by my anger, caused by my unforgiveness.

My anger stems from her lack of unrepentance. (And, without too much detail, her insistence that I am the guilty party, though the guilt was proven independent of me, in a court of law.) How do you let go of anger towards someone who is absolutely unrepentant? Any thoughts?