Offering, and answers to prayer

Nope, I'm not going to talk about money or tithing, though both are very important subjects. The offering I'm referring to in the title is ourselves.

The lyrics of a popular Christian song imply that the only sacrifice we can make to G-d is to give Him our lives, and that this is in our power to do so. The thought struck me that this is not entirely true. No, I don't have anything else to give G-d, for there is nothing that isn't already His. Including me. I obediently "give my life to Him" not because it's all I have to give, but because it's His already, purchased for eternity by His Son's precious blood.

What struck me in a Wow Moment was not that He accepts the offering of ourselves, but that He accepts this even though it's fully His, and He does it for our benefit and His pleasure.

"Offer yourselves to G-d; as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness." Romans 6:13b

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of G-d's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to G-d - this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 12:1

I'm amazed that He considers this offering-that's-rightfully-His an act of worship. My only conclusion is that this act of obedience, this continual laying down of our selves and offering of our bodies to Him, is the very "working out" of our salvation. That as we bring this humble offering, this lump of clay to the potter, He is molding and making, transforming and sanctifying us into righteousness, drawing us closer to holiness and pleasing our Father.

My second Wow Moment came this morning during my word-study on Grace. I promise to revisit Romans and 1 Corinthians, but today I came across Paul's famous grace quote in 2 Cor 12:9.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. " Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I was reminded that this was the answer to Paul's prayer that the thorn in his side be removed. This was the answer. Not an answer, or half the answer, for we really don't know if the thorn ever was removed. For all Paul knew at the time of writing, and all we know now, this was it. This was not a yes, no, maybe, not yet, be patient, or any of the other short human answers we often look for from G-d.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Enough already. You don't need a human answer, you need ME. Find rest in My strength and power in My grace, for I am the only answer sufficient for all life's thorns.

Think about it: even when He answers in human terms, He still answers ME. He only answers yes when it brings Him glory, and no when it won't. Maybes, not yets, and be patients all serve to draw us closer to His will. Seek first the kingdom of G-d.

You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. John 14:14

The answer, and perhaps even the prayer should be as well, is always Me.

This is Too Much

Ah, what will they think of next?

Listen to this piece about Hell Houses.

I'd love to know what you all think... about the concept in general, the message itself, and the secular-church relationship involved.

Remembrance, and sadness

The day is done, and the darkness

Falls from the wings of night,

As a feather is wafted downward

From an eagle in his flight.

I see the lights of the village

Gleam through the rain and the mist,

And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me

That my soul cannot resist:

A feeling of sadness and longing,

That is not akin to pain,

And resembles sorrow only

As the mist resembles the rain.

The Day is Done -- H. Longfellow

Remember him - before the silver

cord is severed,

or the golden bowl is broken;

before the pitcher is shattered at the spring,

or the wheel broken at the well,

and the dust returns to the ground it came from,

and the spirit returns to G-d who gave it.

Ecclesiastes 12:6&7

For B.A.S. At least, for my aching memory of her.

Bibliophile

Oh, the treasure of new used books!

I found some remarkable pieces today, the best being a hardback collection of poems rebound but published in 1886. Second best was Luther's Small Catechism, hardback, original binding, published in 1935.

Also found John Calvin On the Christian Faith: Selections from the Institutes, Commentaries and Tracts, and The Joyful Christian: 127 Readings from C.S. Lewis.

Pictures from the Hike

Woo!

Outdoor rink opens in 7 days! Who's with me??

Got the go-ahead from my physical therapist to bike, and I'll start jogging in therapy next week.

So, ride tomorrow morning and hiking Sunday afternoon. Sounds like the perfect birthday weekend to me. :)

It's not about the Fulbright

Today I caught my cat using my toothbrush. I'm sure he's done this before without my knowledge. Disgusting. I had a back-up, which was convenient, since my first instinct was to clean my mouth.

After reviewing my Fulbright application, and discussing ad nauseam my research proposal, Jill remarked, "I really don't think this is about you getting a Fulbright. I think you're really going for a fatwa here."

And, while giving me a healthy dose of constructive criticism, my former undergraduate advisor warned me that my proposal was border-line Orientalist.

Ha!

In other disturbing news, Jeff Stein, national security editor at Congressional Quarterly recently wrote an op-ed siting several homeland security and congressional employees who work in counterterrorism that could not answer the following question accurately:

Do you know the difference between a Sunni and a Shi'ite?

Excerpt:

I asked Willie Hulon, chief of the bureau’s new national security branch, whether he thought that it was important for a man in his position to know the difference between Sunnis and Shiites. “Yes, sure, it’s right to know the difference,” he said. “It’s important to know who your targets are.”
That was a big advance over 2005. So next I asked him if he could tell me the difference. He was flummoxed.“The basics goes back to their beliefs and who they were following,” he said. “And the conflicts between the Sunnis and the Shia and the difference between who they were following.”
O.K., I asked, trying to help, what about today? Which one is Iran — Sunni or Shiite?
He thought for asecond. “Iran and Hezbollah,” I prompted. “Which are they?”
He took a stab: “Sunni.” Wrong. Al Qaeda? “Sunni.” Right.
-------------------(full article available on www.cq.com)-----------------------------

Seriously? World Religions 101. Even Wikipedia's got it pretty much down.

The Trinity

I cannot wrap my brain around this concept, no matter how hard I try. Do we make this more complex than it need be? Do I really need to understand Jewish monotheism and early christology to grasp this?

I'm fumbling my way through this article, and as mentioned below, recently listened to a talk by D.A. Carson that addressed the humanity/divinity of Christ. I'm temporarily resigned to the fact that this is one of those situations where what I know to be true and what I can understand, in the limits of my human nature, are at odds.

Walking back from lunch today, I was in a conversation with CeCe and Avi. CeCe grew up Catholic and is contemplating converting to Orthodox Judaism. Avi, a non-practicing Iranian Muslim, asked her why she felt compelled toward Judaism. I observed, antenna raised for any opportunity to present the Truth.

When Avi asked why, CeCe could not give a succinct answer. It took her quite some time to find the words, which I found interesting. I could list a myriad of reasons for why I believe in Christ, and I was baffled that she had trouble finding one.

Slowly, it came out. She explained that her Catholic impression left her feeling that no matter what she did, she was either good or bad; that her works did not matter. Really? Not the Catholicism I know, that's for sure. CeCe expressed that under Judaism, her works either drew her closer to G-d, or father from him. There is the obvious element of control here, but there is also the lack of understanding the depravity of humanity and the nature of sin. She actually said, "If I keep the Commandments, I will be closer to G-d." Good luck with that, honey. Let me know how that works out for you.

On a more compassionate note, I was struck by the notion that if you don't have a proper understanding of Sin, you cannot have a proper understanding of G-d, nor of His relationship to us.

What she went on to say was that she believed in only one G-d and this is why she deviated from her Catholic upbringing. She could not accept Jesus as G-d.

I was stuck. And upset at being stuck. It's still One G-d, three persons same in substance and equal in power and glory.

Gulp. I can't even go there, I thought. There is no way I can explain this when I can't really understand it myself.

And now the questions in my silly stubborn head are running circles.

How can I understand this? Can I? Should I try? Are the historical and theological positions just clouding my brain? Can I really figure this out by reading? Does this have to be experienced? How? How can I have a right understanding of G-d, of Christ's work on the cross, of the Holy Spirit in my life, if I can't even figure out the triune G-d???

Breathe. Ok, I'm coming to grips that I won't have this figured out over night. But do we problemitize, over analyze and complicate something that was never meant to be this difficult? Or is it difficult because it's a mystery of G-d?

Nemawashi

Class this weekend was fabulous. No readings, no assignments. Part lecture, part group participation. This is the best way to learn, by far. In two days (9am-5pm) of the seminar, I think I spaced out once. That might have been the six cups of coffee each morning/afternoon. But overall, a very engaging topic: Understanding Cultures -- Negotiating Effectively. The Prof was a bit goofy, telling and laughing at his own jokes. However, his tangent illustrations were actually well-woven into the materials. He was also intriguing - a non-religious, openly gay, liberal but free-trade, capitalist-loving academic from India. His first job in the States was selling Bibles door-to-door in the South. And, I have to respect a liberal academic who will disagree with Said's preposterous Orientalism.

The course focused primarily on economic negotiations, but with North Korea's recent moves, we carried much of the discussion to security issues. Topics also touched on: high and low context cultures, increased violence when cultural identity is threatened, power and 'othering' (one of my favorite academic debates), the symbiotic nature of sadomasochist relationships, and ideology-based versus interest-based negotiations.

Two observations:
One, cultural diplomacy risks politicizing culture and making issues of culture when there actually might be none. Instead of reaching understanding, the gaerre des images widens the schism.
Two, I think I'm supposed to do something with India. This is random, I know. I've felt this draw to India for the past year and a half, ignored it thinking "Why on earth would G-d want Miss Islam and Arab Expert to go to India?" But India is everywhere I turn lately and so I'm going to stop ignoring and start praying.

Nemawashi is Japanese for 'testing the waters.' We learned this in context of what you do when entering the negotiating space. (Where are people sitting, body language, drinks, food, hospitality, etc.) I don't know if Nemawashi applies to me testing the waters to see what is up with India, but I'm using it anyway. (So much for cultural sensitivity!)

Hiatus

The Fulbright application, and preparing for class this weekend, is pretty much sucking up all my free time.

I have a few posts formulating in the primarily empty space of my brain, and when all is said and done, I will get around to blogging them.

I'm contemplating, and have been for quite some time, the following from Julian of Norwich:

His ever-flowing love and His strength must become everything for me. To depend upon His strength must become my greatest rest. To live in the love of G-d -- even at the cost of great sacrifice -- must become my highest aim. My crown.

Two notes thus far. One, there is no anxiety here; no worry, no uncertainty. And perhaps it is in the pushing aside of all that brings those tensions that we find rest in His strength. Two, the exercise of meditating on these thoughts, reading and rereading the Scripture that Julian's words have brought to mind, and praying that I might find my greatest rest in Him, has led me to write out the testimony of His work in my life -- something I have not done in a very long time. It is beyond my comprehension why He would chose a wretched sinner like me to be part of His Kingdom.

My faith is like shifting sand, changed by every wave.

My faith is like shifting sand, so I'll stand on Grace.

Chew on This

For those of you who enjoyed Jonah, listen to Tim Keller on The Supremacy of Christ and the Gospel in a Postmodern World. Thanks to Joel for the link.

Williams on Prayer

My principal exposure to Charles Williams up till now was through Lewis' quotations of him. These were snippits here and there, but cleaver enough to make me like him and quote him often. In the past month I've acquired two of his works, War in Heaven and Decent into Hell.

I began reading War in Heaven, a novel about the Holy Grail. The story takes place in the UK circa 1920s, and opens with a murder at a publishing company. This is all good and dandy and makes a fine read.

However, what struck me was just how much theology and wisdom Williams' packed into this fictional tale. (Now I must add him to my list of mythologists/theologians to study!) I'll just share what really jumped out at me: Williams' commentary on prayer.

In a chapter titled "The Second Attempt on the Graal," the Grail is metaphysically threatened by characters following the occult. (Creepy. Kind of makes you feel unclean while reading it.) A makeshift Table has gathered to protect the Grail, headed by the Archdeacon. Williams conveys his thoughts through the Archdeacon.

When the threat is realized, the Archdeacon cries, "Something is going on, I do not know what. Make yourselves paths for the Will of G-d."

"Against what shall we pray?" the Duke cried.
"Against nothing," the Archdeacon said. "Pray that He who made the universe may sustain the universe, that in all things there may be delight in the justice of His will."

The Archdeacon, the Duke and Kenneth continue to pray, but Kenneth finds his mind distracted. The Archdeacon cries out "Pray!" and Williams' narrative states: Kenneth heard, and knew his weakness; he abolished his memories, and, so far as was possible, surrendered himself to be only what he was meant to be.

The whole encounter displays surrender to self, and submission to His will. I wonder how much Lewis' thoughts on pray were influenced by Williams. I've lent much of my Lewis works on prayer and cannot reference what I'd like, for fear of misquoting. He does write in "The Efficacy of Prayer,"

Our act, when we pray, must not, any more than all our other acts, be separated from the continuous act of G-d Himself, in which alone all finite causes operate.

Make yourselves paths for the Will of G-d....