Insofar as we love the gospel, to that same extent, let us study the ancient tongues... And let us notice that without the knowledge of languages we can scarcely preserve the gospel. Languages are the sheath which hides the sword of the Spirit, they are the chest in whichs this jewel is enclosed, the goblet holding this draught... Where the languages are studied, the proclamation will be fresh and powerful, the scriptures will be searched, and the faith will be constantly rediscovered through ever new words and deeds.

My first day of Greek, our instructor handed us this quote from Luther. (Any good Calvinistic can appreciate Luther, when he's right. :) If you told me in junior year of undergrad that in ten years, I'd be applying to PhD programs in ancient languages, I think I might have killed myself. That's not an over-exaggeration. I remember sitting on a cold concrete bench, on a crisp fall day much like today, crying, exasperated by my failure to comprehend modern Arabic. In fact, most mornings I would wake up and tear at the thought of going to class. (Arabic was, of course, a M-F 9am course.) I feared the reproachful eye of man. Literally - I dreaded the male students - native speakers - who would glare at any non-Arabic speaking females that didn't have the sense to sit in the back, behind the men. When I finished my required language courses for my degree, a heavy weight lifted. Never again, I thought. I purposefully picked a master's program with no language course requirement (only a comprehension exam) so that I would not have to sit in another language class.

And then I went to seminary. And I began to understand that to do what I wanted to do - to do what I felt called to do - I would have to study some languages. Maybe Hebrew and Greek would suffice. Terrified, I started with Hebrew. And wouldn't you know? Hebrew is a heckuva lot like Arabic. Even classical biblical Hebrew shares enough in common with modern standard Arabic that it was familiar, and not in a I'm-going-to-cringe kind of way. Before I knew it, I actually liked Hebrew. No, I loved it. By this point last year, I knew I would be not only learning Hebrew, Greek and classical Arabic, but perhaps Syriac and Aramaic, and maybe even some Coptic, too. Latin might be fun, just for kicks. German and French are always required at the doctoral level, unfortunately, so I'd have to throw those in as well.

Wait, I'm not a language person! I can't keep verb endings straight from one form to the next. I hate matching gender, number and tense. I can't roll my "r's" or perfect a glottal stop. I have a hard enough time with English grammar. Geesh, God, don't you get it? I'm not a langague person!

And that's when I remember that His ways are not our ways, and He uses clay pots to display His glory. I'm not a language person. In fact, I'm pretty average in my classes. But I know the gifts He has given me, and what He has called me to do with them is to glorify Him. Studying the ancient tongues of the biblical text is, in Luther's image, drinking rich draught. It's also a reminder of my own limits, and how He overcomes them.

Two weeks from today, I will interview with the department head at my Top Choice. I am terrifed and excited, grateful and undeserving. Me, a doctoral candidate in a language program? Not on my own merits but on the One who has brought me thus far, I shall lean.

Grace in the Gospels

We make the freely given promise of G-d the foundation of faith because upon it faith properly rests... Faith properly begins with the promise, rests in it, and ends in it. (Calvin, Inst. 3.2.29)

Back in September I began a word study of grace in the NT. And, well, it's been 4 months; I should probably start sharing my thoughts.

We think of grace as commonplace in the Bible, but the word grace appears only four times in the gospels, three of those instances coming in the opening chapter of John. Here are my original thoughts on each, as I recorded them months ago.

Luke 2:40: And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom and the grace of G-d was upon him.

Context: Joseph and Mary have returned with a young Jesus to Nazareth. It is strange, a bit foreign, to think of Jesus as a boy; an infant in a manger - yes, but a child - no. I cannot wrap my brain around that simple an image of my savior. And it is stranger still to think of grace upon him, for isn't He Grace? It is love that bid Him to the cross, to bring glory to the Father. But surely it is because He is Grace that He came at all.

John 1:14: The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Thoughts: This is John's description of the deity of Christ, but I am still caught and breathless by the thought that Jesus is grace.

John 1:16&17: From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Thoughts: Once again, this shows grace as Christs' essence, acted by and through His love on the cross, to bring us hope, salvation, redemption; complete and absolute glory to the Father.

---

Afterthoughts:

Jesus himself never addresses grace; he need not. It is His very core, not just an attribute of his being, but His essence and purpose, too.

Tangent: John is by far my favorite gospel, and possibly my favorite NT book.

Positional Salvation

What does it mean that salvation is not just positional?

I've been thinking lately about the relationship between grace and salvation... the love that compelled Him to the cross, and the grace manifest in Christ's essence. A few days ago, I posed the above question to myself. What does it mean that salvation does not simply define our position to the Father (meaning He sees us a righteous through the lens of the cross), but that it also defines our relationship with the Father (meaning how we interact based on our position secured through the cross).

My study Bible has a footnote on salvation that helped me grasp its more active aspects: the inclusive word in the Gospel encompasses all redemptive acts and process: justification, redemption, grace, propitiation, imputation, forgiveness, sanctification and glorification. Salvation has been (deliverance), is being (healing), and will be (preservation). It is complete, yet ongoing.

Salvation is by grace and through faith. (See Eph. 2:8)

The grace makes it once sealed and forever secure; the faith makes salvation active.

Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Phil. 2:12b)

The Grace that drew me to Him guarantees my salvation positionally, and faith serves to deepen my relationship with Him, thus allowing He who began a good work to carry it on to completion, bringing Himself the Glory He rightly deserves.

It is such a small role we play... it is His calling Grace and His work in us, yet He lets the faith of a mustard seed, in imperfect and stubborn human beings, display His goodness to the world.

Torn

In the midst of personally being torn between two not-yet-job offers and decisions about quality of life, temporary goals or long-term goals, I was presented yesterday with a strange division in my own thought. Chalk it up to a 10 hour car ride in Midwest summer and boredom with The Life of Pi on cd.

I've been pondering Grace and Love; and the emphasis placed on either. (And still, though not yet, coming closer to a conversion of sorts to Calvinism). I find the Calvinist point that offering Grace to all cheapens the cross, and dulls G-d's gift to those who accept (the Elect, if you will).

From a gut reaction, I inexplicably agreed with the point, and on my road trip yesterday began to search for why I felt so compelled.

My conclusions (if I can now give them justice, for writing one's thoughts after a night's rest is never as eloquent as they first appeared in one's mind), are such: While Love has to be free, Grace cannot be free, for it is no longer Grace when it is free to all. Before you throw up your hands and scream 'What!? Surely the gift of Grace is given on no human account!' This is not what I mean by Free. For Grace most certainly is freely given. But is not Free for all to inherit -- not even for all to claim, and we should all recognize it came at a great price.

This realization, which I'm sure minor to most and maybe not that interesting at all, was a profound change in thinking for an adamant free-willer such as myself. G-d's love must be free for all -- His very character and nature demands it, for He is Love. But to allow His Grace to be just as free makes the cross unnecessary, belittles grace and limits His glory.

Surprised by Joy

(I wrote this almost three weeks ago, thought I would revisit it and then never got around to it.)

Recently, I have inadvertently become the Calvinist reference in my small group, although there are two guys in the group who are far more truthful to Calvin's tenants than I. In college, I began by only accepting the first point of Calvinism: total depravity. That's it, that's as much as I could buy. I've experienced a bit more Grace since then, and probably around last December felt that maybe, perhaps, irresistible grace rules and G-d does preserve His people. Limited atonement has always made sense -- for why should Christ pay for the sins of those who will not believe (and thus will pay for their own sins in their eternal separation from G-d). But accepting 4 out of 5 points was just too much for me.

I now fear I've accepted them all without knowing what hit me. I feel like Lewis' reluctant convert!

I thought that my objections centered on election, for it created a picture of an arbitrary god to me, not one of compassion, love and justice. A god that chose at whim whom to love and whom to destroy. A god too like Allah for me to stomach. And what role did faith play in election? Can faith and election be reconciled? Is that Calvin-lite?

The following is a summary of my thoughts and conclusions:

If faith does play a role in salvation, then I must accept the final two points, for in my feeble mind they still go together somehow. Alas, it is only election that bothers me, for I fear it ignores faith, and that I cannot accept. If I were to understand election to include faith -- meaning we were still left to make the choice -- to accept or reject -- then irresistible grace refutes that possibility.

Perhaps it is irresistible grace I am stuck on all along. For on one hand, I cannot fathom a soul so stubborn as to be possible to refuse Grace - if that grace were truly known. And on the other hand, I cannot understand why He would not make His Grace known to all (for if it is irresistible than all would accept).

So Grace is left only irresistible to those who've been elected.

My personal experience with Grace leaves me only to believe that I have succumbed to irresistible grace and undoubtedly believe in the preservation of the saints. Not only that, it has caused me great joy in understanding. Joy that knows no other source but the Grace that flows freely from Him who gives according to His purpose. This experience of grace leading to joy is humbling, sustaining and satisfying. And draws me to accept the possibility of election.

I am left to believe that perhaps Calvin was not only a mean, feisty theologian, but one that might be right. My acceptance of his five points does in fact alter my view of my own life -- drastically and positively. For it brings an understanding of purpose, an increased level of submission, and desire. I cannot sit idly by and be a Christian in thought. No. This is to be an active faith, for when one who knows he is called with intent, purpose, and comes to the place of joy through experiencing Grace, one cannot rest in simple belief. One must move in response to His compelling, complete Grace.

After contemplating this all morning, I called my good friend (and Calvinist) Tonetta, and relayed the above. I still have problems with unconditional election, but I cannot keep refusing what keeps proving to be true. And so, I will keep working through my objections without fully rejecting, and continue to seek Him.

Ni'ma

To the best of my knowledge, ni'ma is the closest Arabic representation of Grace. It's defined as: benefit, blessing, boon, benefaction, favor, grace, kindness; and ni'mat Allah is 'by the grace of G-d.' My English version of the Qur'an does not list it in the index. Never once in my four years of studying Islam did we discuss the concept of grace in class. There is no such concept under Allah.

This was made clear to me as I traveled in Cairo. In the mornings, on our way about the city, we would travel by train, often (and preferably) riding in the women-only cars. Watching Egyptian women at ease, all eager to talk with us Americans, practicing their English (which was far better than my Arabic!)

We were encouraged to adopt Arabic names (easier to pronounce) as conversation starters. I wanted to find the word for Grace and use that as my name. But no one knew it. Every women I asked on the train looked puzzled. "Grace? What is that? I don't understand." This could be attributed to language and cultural barriers. So, I gave my best description of G-d's favor and blessings in our lives, experiences through knowing Him intimately and personally.
Blank faces were my only response. Really? I wondered if His Love was as foreign as His Grace.

I continued to enquire everywhere. No one knew the word for Grace in Arabic. One man thought I said Greece. Finally, a Lebanese Christian told me the word. I made him write it in Arabic. I engraved it on a ring. I've shown it to a few of my Arabic speaking friends. "What's that? Oh, yes, blessings. G-d's blessings." No. Grace, people, Grace. "Well, yes, it means Grace, too, but no one uses it like that." Well, what do they use? (Silence).

How sad. To worship a god with no grace. It is empty and incomplete. Not because we then get nothing out of faith, for we have nothing to do with the gift of Grace but to humbly receive. Not because He has to give grace, for it is by His choice and wisdom alone. Simply because there is no glory in a graceless god.