Sunshine, trust and restlessness

Spring is finally shedding its light on the dullness of the city. This pleasant and much needed newness does not lighten my overbooked schedule, but it does make for improved spirits and general well-being.

To complement my mood this morning, I donned my spring rain jacket, a light yellow linen fitted trench coat. I love this jacket, even though I can really only wear it about two months out of the year. It's Ann Taylor LOFT, and fits perfectly; very feminine and the yellow contrast with my brown hair is pretty. (At least, I think it is).

I do realize that it is not technically spring for a few more days and yellow is a bit bold, but still, it's not breaking the White Rule for the few of us ladies out there who preserve it. I did not, however, expect quite the positive reaction it drew from my coworkers. My new nickname is Sunshine, and I've been serenaded with:

"You are my Sunshine, My Only Sunshine," "You are the Sunshine of my life" (Stevie Wonder), and "Sunshine Superman" (Donovan).

I could get used to this. :)

~~~

Today I also made an observation, and I'm not sure what, if anything, to make of it. There's a woman in my Cubicleland who I know to be a Christian. She's very pleasant, friendly, and talks openly about her faith, at least in the women's restroom. What I noticed yesterday was her underlying statement of distrust in her coworkers. She carried her purse to the copier. At first I thought maybe she was on her way out and just stopped at the copier, but she did it multiple times during the day. And today, I realized that she takes her purse with her everywhere, every time she leaves her cubicle. I could possibly understand this if a) we didn't work in a secure building, or b) each cubicle didn't have multiple lockable cabinets. Maybe she's had personal belongings stolen before. I do, I admit, put my iPod in a drawer when I walk away. But I don't lock it up. Because I generally trust that my coworkers are not going to raid my desk, looking for things to steal. I'm curious to know what message she's sending. "I'm a Christian and I don't trust people?" I suppose that would be the ultimate conclusion of total depravity.

~~~

Finally, I was reminded of the restlessness of my soul today; that eager yearning that cannot be explained, the longing for “home.” Strolling to work in my fabulous yellow coat, I listened to the lyrics of Caedmon’s Call, Valleys Fill First.

It’s like that long Saturday
Between your death and the rising day
When no one wrote a word
And wondered is this the end

In some sense, I feel this tension everyday. That we are ________, but not yet. The Kingdom has come, but not yet. But Paul writes definitively that we are called, justified, glorified (Rom. 8:29-30). I am, and we are; but we are not, too. We are living in that painfully long Saturday between the first and second coming, and this morning I felt the acute sense of division between the flesh that knows it is not yet fully sanctified, and the spirit that lives justified by grace.

~~~

I’m working on a post in response to this article for ST. Waiting on feedback from the professor.

Things future, nor things that are now,
Not all things below or above,
Can make Him His purpose forego,
Or sever my soul from his love. (Toplady)