Intentions

I planned to blog this summer. I really did. I’ve had a post idea floating in my head for almost two months. Obviously, it hasn’t progressed much beyond that. Summer has a way of fleeing, even when you have the time on your hands to do the things you ought.

Last night my vacation ended. I drove back with a friend from a trip to the beach, where we’d left 7 other friends (who were staying the whole week). Our conversations upset me, to the point where I’m not sure where to begin processing.

I joined a church planting team roughly 9 months ago. We officially launched on Easter Sunday this past spring. I love my new church. I love the people. I love the opportunities I’ve had to lead and serve. I love the smaller community. Like all new churches, we’ve had our fair share of challenges. Primarily, our biggest obstacle has been physical – an actual, consistent meeting space. We are in an urban area, with limited property and limited resources. We’ve been meeting at hotels for the most part but as of next week, we’re homeless again. We’ve got a plan – a providentially opened door for us – which I was excited to share with my car-mate on the ride home last night.

And that’s where things took a dive. I knew that she was part of another PCA church in the area. I knew that there had been some tension in our presbytery when our church plant was in the planning phases. I did not know that those tensions, along with feelings of betrayal, were still present. This church, which goes by CCA, has been through the ringer in recent years… struggling along without a pastor for a while. They’d finally gotten their feet back on the ground but not without asking our session for some help, and according to my source, receiving none. (Not just receiving none; being told there was none to give.)

And then along we came (Emmanuel)… with the resources our mother church told CCA they could not have.

And we invaded their backyard. We plopped down, like parasites, in the heart of the city they were trying to reach. And now, with what we (Emmanuel) see as a gracious provision from the Lord, we’ll be moving literally a few blocks away.

When I first thought about joining the church plant team, I sat down with the pastor to ask about this tension. Why are we planting another church in A, when CCA is there already? He was eager to answer how God had nudged him and his family there. They wanted to plant in an urban environment, with the hopes of using a ministry model like Tim Keller at Redeemer in Manhattan. They were thrilled to talk with our mother church about planting in A. And our mother church was excited to plant there, too. But then the found out about CCA. My pastor didn't know CCA existed. He changed his plans when he found out. He went to the elders and said, I’d rather go to B. B is just as good as A. B is still in the metro area, still urban, still diverse, and in need of a church. But the session voted – with voiced disagreement from CCA – that Emmanuel’s new home would be A. That, in fact, there are 200,000 people in A and there is need for 4, 5 maybe 6 PCA churches there. And that since Emmanuel would have a different feel than CCA, each church would appeal to different types. When the session gave approval for the plant, my pastor felt confident that this was God’s leading.

I listen to his description of what happened. I agreed with him. I agreed that A is a fantastic place for more than one church. That there is no need to have turf wars in ministry; that we’d be reaching out to our local neighbors, our friends, and that each church would be unique and yet united by our shared PCA affiliation. That maybe even we could partner together, since we both have small congregations, and share the burden of caring for our great city. In my naïve imagination, I had visions of joint picnics, ministry projects, and softball teams.

I’m not sure how much of my CCA friend’s assessment is factually correct. I'm not sure how much my information is correct. I’m not sure that it really matters. The fact is, she is still hurt. It does not matter that our intensions were good; that my pastor felt he’d done due diligence, that he even had the support of CCA’s pastor and the session. CCA (or at least one member) still feels betrayed. Perhaps more by the mother church that planted us (while refusing to help them), than they do by Emmanuel, but since we are so connected in their mind, it’s all one in the same.

The saddest moment on the car ride home was when I asked her what we could do to try and reconcile with CCA and she said, “Nothing.”

Now I feel broken. Upset by the hurt we’ve unintentionally caused CCA, confused by the actions of our mother church, and sad at the thought that a church could even have a turf mentality.

What kind of message does any of those actions and responses send to our world?